100 Things Nations Cannot Do
by AsianAnimeGamer
Summary: A set of guidelines and rules set down to ensure order and progress at the World Meetings. Each nation will come forth with their own 100 rules stating what they cannot do.
1. Denmark

**Welcome to my new fic, I'm doing Denmark first because it's his birthday today! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll have to start on Sweden's for his birthday tomorrow.**

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**100 things I, Denmark, cannot do.**  
1. I cannot invite Iceland for any more outings to Finland's saunas.  
2. Norway will kill me.  
3. Again.  
4. I cannot steal Finland's Moomin plushie.  
5. Even if it was super cuddley.  
6. I cannot joke about Iceland having no army.  
7. (See 2 & 3)  
8. I will not mention the good 'ol Viking days within England's earshot.*  
9. Even if they were called the good ol days for a reason.  
10. I cannot come to the World Meetings drunk.  
11. I cannot leave the World Meetings drunk.  
12. I cannot go out to the bar with Germany, Prussia, and England.  
13. I cannot play Pirate 101 with England and Spain ever again.  
14. I cannot force Norway to play with us either.  
15. I cannot dress up as a Viking and come to the meeting in a Viking boat.  
16. Even if it is totally awesome.  
17. Prussia would agree.  
18. I should not gamble with Finland's dog.  
19. That dog is damn good at gambling.  
20. I should not speak of the Kalmar Union within earshot of Sweden and Norway.  
21. I should stop thinking about it all together.  
22. It makes me depressed...  
23. I cannot bring beer to meetings as 'refreshments.'  
24. Last time I did, Prussia complained German beer was better.  
25. Then I tackled him and turned the entire meeting into a brawl.  
26. I cannot call myself King of the North.  
27. Even though I am.  
28. I cannot tell England's former colonies that the reason America and Canada don't have England's eyebrows is because England liked them best.  
29. They will probably kidnap them again.  
30. I cannot make a Lego castle and pretend to declare war on the world.*  
31. Even if it was funny watching them scream in pain from standing on Legos.  
32. They did make me come out two hours later though.  
33. I cannot pull Norway's curl.  
34. Even if I know what he will do.  
35. I cannot hang out Liechtenstein anymore.  
36. Switzerland will shoot me.  
37. And that is painful.  
38. I cannot blow up Sweden's castles on our Minecraft server.*  
39. I will get killed with pork chops.  
40. And that is humiliating.  
41. I will not mention the WWII Jewish star prank within earshot of Germany.*  
42. He is still touchy about it.  
43. I cannot eat eggs in front of Prussia.  
44. He will tackle me.  
45. Then Norway would get mad for starting a fight.  
47. (See 2 & 3)  
48. I cannot play strip poker with America.  
49. I think I saw noses bleeding.  
50. I cannot joke to Iceland about Norway wanting him to call him older brother.  
51. Iceland will attempt to hit me.  
52. It will not hurt at all because he has no army.  
53. I cannot mention Christmas around Finland.  
54. Because he will whip out the Christmas decorations and fling them on me.  
55. And then he will start singing Christmas Carols.  
56. Living with Finland has made me sick of Christmas carols.  
57. I should not let France into my house.  
58. Or Russia.  
59. I cannot set Lego booby traps in the Conference building.  
60. They don't work like the Lego castle, the nations actually wear shoes this time.  
61. I cannot call America a cannibal when he asks for coffee and a Danish.  
62. I cannot forget that Faroe Islands exists.  
63. It's not my fault that he's so easy to overlook!  
64. I cannot have an axe fight with Spain.  
65. It would have been pointless, I would win anyway.  
66. I cannot join America in his Disco Pogo Friday celebration.  
67. Even if five other nations were there.  
68. I cannot dress up as the little mermaid and pretend to be the statue.*  
69. I cannot make any jokes about this number.  
70. I cannot maul America whenever he sings Part of Your World.  
71. He knows nothing about the original tale.  
72. I cannot claim Netherlands stole my haircut.  
73. It's not true anyway, my haircut is way better.  
74. I cannot encourage Ladonia to take independence.  
75. Sweden will stare me down.  
76. And that is uncomfortable.  
77. I cannot ride a red deer into the World Meeting.*  
78. Or anything for that matter.  
79. I cannot take off my shirt in a World Meeting.  
80. Or anywhere that's public.  
81. Japan will probably post his picture of me on his website.  
82. Not that I mind, anyway.  
83. I cannot go treasure hunting with America.  
84. All we found was an old wad of gum.  
85. I cannot pretend I'm Godzilla and wreck America's Lego city.  
86. Even though my Lego city is way better.  
87. I cannot ask Poland if he's sure he's a man.  
88. He will chase me around with his pink pony.  
89. I think he painted the pony pink.  
90. I cannot join in anymore beer contests with Germany.  
91. Both of us will just end up wasted.  
92. I cannot force the Nordics to cross dress for the 'special occasions.  
93. (See 2 & 3)  
94. I cannot tell Finland that his fish food thing is disgusting.  
95. Even if it is true.  
96. I cannot tell England his food is terrible.  
97. Again, even if it is true.  
98. I cannot not try Iceland's shrooms.  
99. I will take this seriously, knowing that if I don't obey these rules laid down will result in severe punishment.  
100. Screw 99.

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***The Nordics had such great times raiding England's villages and invading his vital regions.**

***Legos were invented in Denmark.**

***I like to think the Nordics have a Minecraft server where they play around and Denmark just trolls everyone.**

***The Jewish Star prank is when Germany invaded Denmark and said the Jewish had to wear the star of David thing, everyone wore the star of David. So the nazi couldn't tell the real Jews.**

***The little mermaid tale originated from the Danish writer Hans Christan Andersen. There is a little mermaid statue in the capital of Denmark.**

***The red deer is from Denmark.**


	2. Sweden

**It's here! Sweden's! I'm sorry I didn't post this on his birthday yesterday, I was posting it on Instagram! But it's here!**

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**100 things, I, Sweden, cannot do.**

1. I cannot beat up Denmark.

2. Even if he deserved to be beaten up.

3. I cannot get in a fight with Japan when he says he supports Su-Den.

4. I cannot get in a fight with Hungary either when she says she supports Su-Den.

5. Both would result very badly.

6. I cannot make a stool and bring to a world meeting and then start talking to it.

7. It would creep other nations out.

8. Even though there is no one to talk to anyway...

9. Everyone is frightened by me and Finland doesn't enjoy it when I talk to him for long periods.

10. I cannot stare down Russia.

11. He does not get intimidated and will try smile me down.

12. And then there will be a staring-smiling brawl.

13. There would be no winners because who ever wins will get killed by the other.

14. I cannot hunt Denmark down when he ruins my dinner parties.*

15. I only have dinner parties once in a long while and I want them to be perfect.

16. So hunting Denmark down before my dinner parties is a better idea.

17. I cannot kill Denmark when he goes around showing drawings of the time I had long hair.

18. Even if I really want to.

19. I cannot maul Denmark when he puts a wreath on me for Christmas.

20. He knows it's only for girls.

21. I cannot recreate Busby's chair and make England think it is the real one.

22. I cannot throw saffron cakes on Denmark's face.*

23. Even if he completely needed it.

24. I will not speak of Kalmar Union.

25. Especially in front of Denmark.

26. He will get depressed.

27. And clingy.

28. And will start hugging the Nordics at random times for self security.

29. No one wants that.

30. I cannot read Prussia's blog.

31. Nor do I want to.

32. I cannot brag to Denmark about the Swedish Empire.

33. Even if it was completely better than the Danish Kingdom.

34. I cannot kill Denmark on our Minecraft server when he blows up my castles.

35. At least, not right away.

36. I will get the other Nordics to team together with me.

36. And we will kill Denmark with pork chops.

37. That is much better than killing right away.

38. I cannot sleep in my hotel room shirtless anymore.

39. Because Hungary will have put cameras in there.

40. And she will give the tapes to Denmark.

41. And he will get ideas.

42. I cannot call Finland my wife.

43. Finland is a man and he does not like it.

44. Even if he would make a great wife...

45. I cannot kill Denmark for Norway when he steals Norway's butter.

46. Norway will have to kill Denmark himself.

47. I cannot spend my entire weekend at the IKEA store.

48. Finland thinks I have a problem.

49. I think not.

50. I cannot keep on talking to my furniture.

51. This problem is real.

52. I cannot use Hana for gambling.

53. Even if she racks in money like there's no tomorrow.

54. I cannot keep on putting a cardboard box over Sealand's head.

55. Even if he needs to stop watching anime.

56. I cannot fight with Estonia about who's better with computers.

57. I, for one, do not spend all my time on the computer.

58. I have other hobbies besides sitting glued to the internet.

59. I cannot beat Denmark up when he makes us cross dress for Christmas.

60. I am told he will not do it again.

61. I do not believe it.

62. I cannot tell America anything about Pewdiepie.

63. He will spread gossip that I play games with him.

64. I do not, of course.

65. Seriously, I don't.

66. I cannot tell America anything about Notch.

67. (See 63 through 65)

68. I cannot stab Denmark with a candle.

69. No matter how much I want to.

70. Especially on Christmas.

71. Finland says it ruins the Christmas spirit.

72. I say Denmark ruins the Christmas spirit.

73. I cannot stare down Denmark as an alternative to beating him up.

74. Unfortunately.

75. I cannot kill Denmark when he pretends to be his bi-sexual writer, Han Christian Andersen.

76. Especially when he tries to cuddle with me.

77. Excuse me. *Hurls*

78. I cannot play Minecraft with Finland with PvP mode on.

79. Because he would own my ass.

80. And he would call me an asswipe.

81. I cannot call Denmark a sick fuck when he wears his narwhal shirt and his rapper pants.

82. Even if he does look like a sick fuck.

83. Norway would agree with me.

84. I cannot take away Denmark's axe.

85. He would start crying.

86. And start hugging the Nordics at random times.

87. I cannot hunt down Denmark when he tries to copy my hairstyle.

88. Especially with a bow and arrow.

89. Denmark would call me Katniss Everdeen.

90. Whoever that is.

91. I cannot kill Denmark for Norway when Denmark flirts with Iceland.

92. (See 46)

93. I cannot injure the person who created 'How to get rid of Unnecessary Cheap Swedish furniture.'

94. Everyone knows my furniture is the best.

95. I cannot leave off on this list to kill Denmark.

96. I have made that point several times to not to.

97. Even if he poured coffee over the chair I was working on.

98. I know it is not an accident.

99. I am not allowed to injure Denmark in anyway, no matter how great my anger.

100. Forget it.

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***Yes, I got 14 from Scandinavia and the world.**

***Saffron cakes- a sort of Swedish sweet.**


	3. Iceland

**Im so sorry for missing Iceland's Birthday! I will now quickly work on both Thailand's and Seychelles's**!

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100 things I, Iceland, cannot do.

1. I cannot bribe Mr. Puffin with fish to scare the other Nordics.

2. I cannot put Hong Kong's spices in the other Nordics' food.

3. Last time I did, Denmark spent half an hour puking.

4. I cannot join Norway when he was gambling with Hana.

5. Last I did, he bet me away and lost me to Hana as well.

6. As so did Denmark, who lost both Greenland and Faroe Islands and his clothes.

7. I should not share my shampoo with Denmark.

8. He put blue hair dye in it and that was how I had to spend a week with neon blue hair.

9. I cannot try to migrate with Mr. Puffin and his gang.

10. It freaks people out.

11. Especially Norway.

12. Even though most people can't even tell.

13. I cannot dump ice on Norway when he asks me to call him 'big brother.'

14. I have made the point several times that I am too old to call him that.

15. I cannot tackle Denmark when he jokes about my complete lack of an army.

16. No comment.

17. I cannot join Hong Kong for his firework festivals.

18. They will always end badly.

19. I should stop hanging out with Turkey.

20. Especially when we go to Turkish steam bathes.

21. Norway will hunt him down and kill him if he knew this.

22. OH SHIT, NORWAY-

23. I cannot say, "Everyone's just overreacting.", while blowing up a volcano in the background.

24. That is contradiction.

25. Even if I look super bad ass.

26. I cannot go to the world meeting on a motorcycle.

27. Especially if I decide to enter by crashing through the meeting walls on my ride.

28. (See 25)

29. I cannot bribe any elves to scare the shit out of the other nations.

30. I should not bring lava to the World Meetings.

31. This has proven to be an extremely bad idea.

32. I cannot carry on drinking so much Coca Cola.

33. Norway thinks I have a problem.

34. I think the other.

35. Greenland and I cannot switch names.

36. It confused the other Nordics and in the end, Denmark and Norway made us switch back.

37. Even if it does make more sense than our current names.

38. I cannot join Romano in his mafia raids.

39. (See 25)

40. I cannot laugh at the rest of Europe's nations' names of things.

41. Like Switzerland's 'ass forest', and Austria's 'shit valley end.'

42. Mmph, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-

43. *collapses from laughing*

44. Even if several nations would agree with me on this case.

45. I cannot keep on overworking myself.

46. I will keep on collapsing from exhaustion.

47. Icelanders do work the longest and the hardest though...

48. I should not switch Norway's regular black coffee with any other kind.

49. He will become hyper...

50. ...and scary...

51. ...and starts laughing at random times...

52. "..."

53. I cannot keep on standing outside whenever ashes are falling.

54. It's bad for my lungs.

55. I cannot drive into people's driveways and say, "Vroom, vroom, motherfucker."

56. (See 25)

57. I cannot set people's backyards on fire while dressed as the grim reaper.

58. It freaks people out.

59. I don't see why.

60. I cannot hit America when he says I copied Norway's flag.

61. I didn't.

62. I swear, I really didn't!

63. Shut up, Norway.

64. I cannot try Hong Kong's opium.

65. It's a very bad idea.

66. I cannot continue drawing my 'Finnie the Pooh' comics.

67. Finland is not amused.

68. Sweden likes them, though.

69. I cannot 'help' Hong Kong with his New Year plans.

70. That will get me no where.

71. I cannot feed Hong Kong fish cake.

72. I had to send him to the emergency room after.

73. He still looked a little green after, though.

74. And he didn't touch anything that contained fish for two weeks.

75. I cannot ask Denmark how big his capital is.

76. Nor do I want to.

77. I cannot go near Finland between September and Christmas.

78. His entire house will be covered in FUCKING CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS.

79. And he will go everywhere dressed as Santa.

80. I cannot kill any other European countries after Eurovision.

81. Especially if it's the winner.

82. Damn you, Austria!

83. I cannot walk in on Norway practicing his magic.

84. That's what he says anyway...

85. It looked like he was just laughing while dancing like a stupid fairy.

86. I cannot continue using my shrooms.

87. I don't recommend it anyway.

88. I cannot reenact scenes from South Park.

89. Especially with Hong Kong.

90. I cannot harm anyone who makes fun of my porn ban.

91. Especially Denmark.

92. I cannot set stone on glass with a red LCD screen as my flooring.

93. Especially if I play lava bubbling in the background.

94. I don't see why it freaks people out.

95. I cannot play 'No Prejudice'.

96. Especially if I sing to it.

97. Even if it is fabulous.

98. At least Mr. Puffin understands.

99. I will follow and abide by (most of) these rules as they are stated, because it is for my good and others.

100. And plus, Norway made me.

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**Yeah, I know Iceland's normally the conservative dude, but I think of things above there as thing he'd like to do. (Eyebrow waggle) Anyway, review please!**


	4. Thailand

**10 REVIEWS FOR THREE CHAPTERS?! Jesus, I knew you guys liked this fic, but please, do check out my other fics. I specialize mainly in humor, but I can write the occasional serious fic. (If only I wasn't so lazy...) Anyway, here's an extremely late Thailand's! You guys have no idea how hard it was to write this. I think of him a little yandere, like he tries to keep his anger down, but when it gets ahead of him, he can be really SCARY or troll like. (Insert troll face here)**

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100 things I, Thailand, cannot do.

1. I cannot invite anyone to a ride on my elephants.

2. They all claim that I ride them way too fast, therefore, unsafe.

3. That's silly. How can an elephant run too fast for anyone?

4. Although, Japan did look rather pale after the elephant ride.

5. I cannot complain to the World Meeting committee to get Toto his own seat.

6. They say it is pointless.

7. I cannot harm anybody in anyway that steals my elephants.

8. This includes S. Korea and N. Korea.

9. I cannot claim to everyone that Asian elephants are better than African elephants.

10. The African nations will get angry.

11. And tackle me.

12. And will turn the entire meeting into a brawl.

13. I will not join Hong Kong when he has his 'Hipster Asian Sparkle' parties.

14. No comment.

15. I cannot use an elephant as a car.

16. Even if it cleaner and better.

17. I cannot give smiling lessons to Russia.

18. Or Sweden.

19. Or Belarus.

20. They never turn up well.

21. I cannot say Bangkok as, 'Krungthepmahanakhon Amonrattanakosin Mahintharayutthaya Mahadilokphop Noppharatratchathaniburirom Udomratchaniwetmahasathan Amonphimanawatansathit Sakkathattiyawitsanukamprasit.'

22. It took me twenty minutes to say the entire name.

23. I cannot bring a reticulated python to a World Meeting.

24. The last one was 33 feet long.

25. I cannot ride an elephant into a World Meeting.

26. I had to pay for all damages anyway.

27. I cannot teach elephant reproduction to the micro nations.

28. They haven't been corrupted.

29. Yet.

30. I cannot harm America in any way when he mentions 'The King and I'.

31. He knows nothing about the original.

32. Numerous nations would agree with me on this.

33. I cannot teach Toto how to swear.

34. Iceland's puffin will teach him well enough.

35. I cannot attempt to teach my elephants to swim so I can replace my boats.

36. That won't end very well.

37. I cannot attempt to teach my elephants to fly so I can replace airplanes.

38. (See 36)

39. I cannot fight with America on which nationality Tiger Woods is.

40. Everyone knows he's Thai!

41. I cannot show soft porn to elephants to get them to breed.

42. (See 36)

43. I cannot say '~Ana?' over and over to annoy people.

44. ~Ana?

45. I cannot get lessons from Russia on how to be Yandere.

46. (See 36)

47. I cannot tell America that I speak Elephantlish.

48. Even though I do.

49. I cannot tell America that all my elephants hate him.

50. He will get depressed.

51. And eat ice cream.

52. Lots of it.

53. "..."

54. I cannot be a judge in one of Hong Kong's 'Kitty-Maid Cosplay' contests.

55. When I said that I thought S. Korea looked better than him, Hong Kong got mad.

56. And tackled me.

57. No one wants that.

58. Except maybe S. Korea.

59. I cannot call myself, "The Rabbit-Man."

60. Even though I am.

61. Italy would agree.

62. I cannot cross dress for our 'Asian Mafia: Operation Zero'.

63. Even if we need more than one spy.

64. Male spies don't work very well.

65. So that's why I cross dress!

66. Taiwan says I look pretty~!

67. I will not watch Boku No Pico.

68. Not. Ever. Again.

69. *faints*

70. I cannot sing 'Honor to Us all' within China's earshot.

71. (See 36)

72. I cannot give anyone an elephant for their birthday.

73. Nor can I give anyone elephants for their birthday.

74. I will not go shopping with France.

75. Nor will I go shopping with Poland.

76. I do not understand why I need to shop at the female lingerie section, according to France.

77. I will not mention WWII at any time.

78. Especially within Japan's earshot.

79. It brings back bad memories.

80. It also makes the atmosphere very awkward.

81. For both of us.

82. I will not mention the Vietnam War within earshot of Vietnam.

83. (See 79 through 81)

84. I cannot bring an elephant to a meeting.

85. America would want to ride on it.

86. And ride on it he will.

87. Through a meeting wall.

88. And the other nations will get mad about the damage costs.

89. I cannot attack any nations that wear ivory.

90. "..."

91. Some nations may still have scars from my attacks.

92. Those nations may or may not include a certain Asian.

93. That certain Asian may or may have not been China.

94. Or India.

95. I cannot draw elephants on important documents.

96. This goes for Japan's 2-D porn as well.

97. I cannot say, "I'll just kill you later." every time someone angers me.

98. Those yandere lessons from Russia paid off well.

99. I swear by all my elephants and my sanity that I promise to follow these rules.

100. Yeah... No.

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**I'm sorry for always ending with the 'I promise to follow the rules' and then, 'nope, ain't no one got time for that'. But it's so hard to imagine the nations NOT doing these sort of things :P...**


	5. Seychelles

**OVER A THOUSAND VIEWS?! Okay... Well, here's Seychelles's! I'm sorry for missing the deadline! T - T. Also, I know she's out of character here, but do you realize how hard it is to write these things with sane characters? Let's just say she wrote this when she was super angry at England and France. Ok? Ok.**

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100 things I, Seychelles, cannot do

1. I cannot build a swordfish fence around my island.

2. Even if it keeps the other nations from getting 'stranded.'

3. They keep on claiming that I'm an un-populated island in middle of the sea.

4. I'M A NATION, DAMN IT.

5. I cannot talk about flooding England.

6. Nor can I talk about flooding France.

7. Both would end very badly.

8. I cannot prank call England.

9. Nor can I prank call France.

10. (See 7)

11. I cannot hijack SeaWorld with Cuba and rescue all the fish.

12. Even if it is a good cause.

13. I will not bring a swordfish to a meeting.

14. America would play with it.

15. And hurt someone.

16. Like himself.

17. And several nations would get angry about the blood on their clothing.

18. Even though I had no part in the incident.

19. Okay, maybe a little bit.

20. Is it okay to love fish and love seafood at the same time?

21. I think it is.

22. I cannot flood the meeting building.

23. No matter how much I don't want to go.

24. I cannot tell anyone how I manage to flood so many places.

25. It's a secret.

26. I cannot bring up the Glorioso Islands within France's earshot.

27. Their mine.

28. End of argument.

29. I cannot wear a bikini within eyeshot of France.

30. That would end very badly.

31. I cannot harm anybody that makes fun of my coat of arms.

32. This includes America.

33. And other African countries.

34. Dang it, Uganda!

35. I cannot join forces with the Caribbean nations and plot to take over the world.

36. Not that I would ever do that, of course.

37. I cannot tell England his food is shit.

38. He gets depressed.

39. And I'm supposed to care.

40. I cannot sneak up on Cameroon when he's doing his work.

41. Because his first instinct is to hit the attacker.

42. Even though I am not the attacker, his instinct tells him that I am.

43. And he has lions.

44. Cute ones, but big,

45. I cannot tell anyone that Cameroon reads Harry Potter.

46. Because he would unleash his lions on me.

47. (See 44)

48. I cannot smack anyone with my giant fish.

49. Because England would get mad about the bruises.

50. I should not race against Kenya.

51. That girl can run dang fast...

52. I cannot mention gold mines within South Africa's earshot.

53. Because five minutes later, a very injured England should appear.

54. The said injured England should proceed to tackle me.

55. I swear, not my fault!

56. (See 19)

57. I cannot ask Hong Kong what he does on Friday nights.

58. He would throw a poster on me.

59. The poster says, "Hipster Asian Parties"

60. No comment.

61. None at all.

62. I cannot whine to the other African nations about my high cost of living.

63. They will look at me disapprovingly.

64. And tell me to be glad I have stable houses and much food for my people.

65. "..."

66. The feels.

67. I cannot keep on fainting in cold places.

68. It's not my fault I don't have a climate like Russia's!

69. Not that I would want his climate...

70. *Shivers*

71. I cannot try Cuba's cigars.

72. How does that man smoke so many of those?

73. I guess he handles it like how Jamaica handles smoking so much pot.

74. And all the other soft drugs he uses.

75. I cannot hit anybody with a coconut.

76. This includes England.

77. And France.

78. I cannot steal Hungary's frying pan to hit France.

79. Wait, I can.

80. Thanks Hungary!

81. Wait... Yeah, that was a no.

82. I cannot ask Hungary of she got her frying pan from Rapunzel.

83. What? Did she?

84. I cannot hit anyone that calls me, 'Tourist Islands Bitch'.

85. This anyone may or may not be a certain Prussian.

86. Now I get why she hits him so much...

87. I cannot dress up as a mermaid.

88. Especially if Denmark is with me.

89. We're both very pretty!

90. I cannot go around blowing up any ship that gets near my island and doesn't belong to me.

91. It's not a healthy habit...

92. I cannot ride a dolphin into a World Conference.

93. Especially if I teach that dolphin to dance.

94. And sing.

95. And live on land.

96. Don't ask me how I did it.

97. It comes from living on an island...

98. "..."

99. I swear that by England's eyebrows and France's perviness that I will abide by these rules because it is for my own well being and for others'.

100. And, as proof of my sanity.

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**Hong Kong's is next!**


	6. Hong Kong

**Here's Hong Kong's! Happy late birthday! His was pretty easy to write, considering he's the typical crazy teenager like me XD. I'll upload Canada's soon! And let's just say, he's going to be as much as a troll as his brother... ;)**

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100 things I, Hong Kong, cannot do.

1. I cannot put fireworks in, like, anybody's bed.

2. This includes China's.

3. And England's.

4. And S. Korea's.

5. And several more people.

7. I cannot have anymore 'Hipster Asian Sparkle' parties.

8. Even if Hipster Asian Sparkle parties are, like, the bomb.

9. S. Korea and I cannot have any more 'Kitty Maid Cosplaying' contests.

10. Especially on the meeting table.

11. Even if the meeting table makes an excellent catwalk.

12. But there would be, like, no winner.

13. Because whoever loses, would kill the winner.

14. And maybe the judges.

15. I cannot set off fireworks during a meeting.

17. Or anytime, for that matter.

18. I cannot, like, have a firework celebration.

19. Especially with America.

20. I cannot draw naughty pictures.

21. No matter how fun it is.

22. I should not show my pictures to Japan.

23. Ever.

24. I cannot keep on using Opium.

25. It's bad for me.

26. And the main reason why I don't like England.

27. I cannot give France, like, any pictures of England in his waiter outfit.

28. No matter how much he's willing to give me.

29. I cannot kidnap China's pandas and hold them for a ransom.

30. That will get me no where.

31. At all.

32. I cannot draw on any important documents.

33. Especially if it has confidential on it.

34. I cannot steal N. Korea's nukes.

35. For any purpose at all.

36. Because N. Korea would nuke me if I did.

37. No one wants to be nuked.

38. No one.

39. I cannot tell people that they have bad Feng Shui.

40. They don't even know what I'm talking about, so it has no effect on them.

41. I cannot let S. Korea into my house.

42. I cannot let S. Korea into my bedroom.

43. Both would end up very badly.

44. I cannot tell Belarus that her brother stalks China.

45. She and China would be forced to fight for Russia.

46. Even though China, like, hates Russia.

47. Now that I think of it, there wouldn't be any fight since China would give Russia to Belarus immediately.

48. I cannot, like, help America with his firework celebration.

49. Cause we would end up blowing up an entire nation.

50. Namely America's.

51. I cannot accuse S. Korea of killing my giant rubber ducky.

52. ...but deep down I know he did, like, kill Mr. Duck...

53. ...no matter what he claims...

54. I cannot, like, borrow anybody's money, unless they give me permission.

55. Poland and I were going to donate the money to charity...

56. Okay, I'm lying.

57. We went shopping.

58. I did find, like, a totally swaglicous pair of headphones.

59. I cannot have a bear brawl between my panda and Canada's polar bear.

60. Because my bear would, like, totally win.

61. Cause pandas always win.

62. China would agree.

63. I cannot steal America's glasses.

64. He calls them Texas for some reason, though...

65. Macau and I cannot, like, go to Las Vegas.

66. Even though last time we did, we won tons of cash and came back loaded.

67. I cannot take any pictures of Sensei when he's asleep.

68. Even if he looks funny holding his Hello Kitty plushie.

69. I cannot ever gamble with Macau.

70. Because he would win.

71. And I would be broke.

72. I cannot give Iceland any of my spicy foods.

73. Because his stomach can't handle it.

74. And he would puke.

75. For two hours straight.

76. Nobody, like, wants that.

77. My poor toilet...

78. I cannot smack S. Korea when he makes fun of me for being so short.

79. I'll just slice him with my sword later.

80. Yes, I have a sword.

81. Don't ask me where I got it.

82. I cannot joke to Iceland about, like, his porn ban.

83. Nor can I joke about his lack of an army.

84. He's touchy about both subjects...

85. I cannot try Iceland's shrooms.

86. One Nordic drug addict is bad enough.

87. An Asian drug addict is, like, even worse.

88. I cannot join America on Disco Pogo Friday.

89. Even though I saw Prussia there.

90. And Spain.

91. And France.

92. And Germany.

93. And S. Korea.

94. Do I need to say more?

95. I cannot tell Poland it is a bad idea to buy ponies during wartime.

96. Because he would chase me with his pink pony.

97. That he bought during the internet wars.

98. Yeah... He didn't listen.

99. By, like, the powers vest in me and my fireworks, I swear solemnly and seriously to follow all of these rules laid down for me and my own good.

100. Now, like, off to Las Vegas with Macau!


	7. Canada

**Happy late Canada Day! Sorry for missing ANOTHER DEADLINE, not to mention posting it on America's birthday. You'll notice that the things Canada does are pretty... Freaky... Ah, what am I'm saying, we all need to release anger sometimes! Thank you everyone who has reviewed! Anyway, enjoy troll Canada! **

* * *

100 things I, Canada, cannot do.

1. I cannot pour maple syrup on burgers.

2. Burgers don't even taste that great, so...

3. I cannot make a burger for America made out of pancakes.

4. Even his stomach couldn't handle that one.

5. I cannot wear a "I'm with stupid" t-shirt while standing next to America.

6. Even if it does make sense.

7. England would agree.

8. I will never play baseball with America again.

9. Not since he hit me in the crotch.

10. I cannot go to world meetings only on Canada flag briefs.

11. Especially on Canada day.

12. I cannot come to meetings on a moose.

13. Especially if I decided to crash through the meeting walls.

14. I cannot harm anybody that mentions Rebecca Black.

15. Nor can I harm anybody that mentions 'Friday'.

16. This includes America.

17. I cannot give America a gym membership.

18. Because he will get angry and ask me if I think he's fat.

19. All while having a yandere smile on his face.

20. The Cold War paid off, didn't it?

21. I cannot scream, "I'M CANADA!" every time someone mistakes me for America.

22. ...but I am Canada...

23. ...not America...

24. I cannot keep on reminiscing Vancouver, 2010.

25. Even if it was one of the few times the other nations looked at me...

26. I'll host another Olympics soon...

27. I cannot pour maple syrup on Cuba's ice cream.

28. For some reason, he doesn't like it.

29. I cannot injure anybody that mentions Justin Bieber.

30. This anybody includes America.

31. I cannot dress up as a pigeon and whisper loudly, "I will shit on everything you love."

32. Especially if I do this to America

33. Or England.

34. Even if the reactions are hilarious.

35. I cannot sing, "Yeah, I know that you want be Canadian, please."

36. Especially if I add bitch after please.

37. Note to self, do not sing within America's earshot.

38. I cannot harm America when he mentions, "Banana Boat Emperor."

39. ...I was drunk that night...

40. I will not check the tumblr tag 'redvelvetpancakes'.

41. I don't remember fucking that guy.

42. Nor do I remember even meeting him.

43. I will not check the tumblr tag 'PruCan'.

44. (See 41)

45. I cannot kill America when he wants us to re-enact Frozen.

46. I don't see why I have to be the one in the slutty blue dress...

47. I cannot mumble 'Kol Kol Kol Kol'

48. The time spent with Russia was spent well...

49. I cannot swear in French within any French speaking nation's earshot.

50. Last time I swore in French in front of France, he put a soap bar in my mouth.

51. I don't see why I have to have soap in my mouth.

52. England's the one with the potty mouth...

53. I cannot go on anymore 'Manada's Man Hunts'.

54. Especially if America won the Stanley Cup.

55. ...did he?

56. *starts omitting dark aura*

57. I will not leave off on this list to kill America for winning the Stanley Cup.

58. ...unfortunately.

59. I cannot scream, "HEALTHCAAAAARE" whenever America screams, "FRREEEDOOMMMM".

60. Especially if I have a megaphone.

61. I cannot brag to America about my healthcare.

62. (See 58)

63. I cannot invite anymore people to play hockey with me.

64. Do you want to?

65. ~It's just one game!

66. Ok? Ok.

67. Just one thing...

68. NO FUCKING MERCY IN MY RINK.

69. YOU'RE FUCKED.

70. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

71. I cannot say, "Pancakes" to everything.

72. No matter how fun it may be.

73. Having a bear fight with Hong Kong is pointless and will cause needless destruction of furniture.

75. It is pointless because Kuma would win.

76. I cannot have a Pancakes-Waffles brawl with Belgium.

77. (See 58)

78. I cannot kill America for arranging a mock marriage between me and Poland.

79. Poland was just as surprised as me...

80. Even though he actually did show up in a wedding dress...

81. ...on a pink pony...

82. I cannot mention the The War of 1812 within America's earshot.

83. Or England's.

84. ...I burned your fucking capital, America...

85. I cannot come to Cuba's place on Mondays.

86. Because that's the most likely time he will mistake me for America.

87. And his beatings are not pretty...

88. I cannot mention America's Embargo on Cuba within Cuba's hearing range.

89. Because the end results will not be pretty...

90. Well, it will end with another one of Cuba's America hunts.

91. I cannot tell America about how the rest of North and South America hate him.

92. Everyone but himself is well aware of this fact.

93. I cannot sing Canadian Please whenever America plays Star-Spangled Banner.

94. (See 58)

95. I cannot beg the Olympic committee to let me host another Olympics.

96. Nor can I bribe them.

97. *goes to sit in emo corner*

98. *le sigh*

99. I cannot break any of these rules, under the rules of France and England, because I will most likely go crazy if I continue doing these things.

100. Not that crazy... Ah, now. What about that hockey game?

* * *

**Keep an eye on the skies for our favorite** **American!**


	8. America

**This is one of the easier ones to do, because Alfie is already is crazy XD. ANYWAY, I WILL, APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY FOR SLACKING OFF LIKE CRAZY. Good? Good. Next will be Liechtenstein! **

* * *

100 things I, America, cannot do.

1. I cannot bring anymore cakes to celebrate special occasions.

2. Especially if they are blue.

3. Even though my food is amazing and so is blue.

4. And me.

5. I cannot chant, "USA! USA!" whenever I see USA military victories in action.

6. No matter how fun it may be.

7. It's offensive to the losing side.

8. And may start another war.

9. I cannot sing, "Lalalalala, those numbers are insanely high, man!" whenever Vietnam reminds me of the millions of Vietnamese people deformed because of Agent Orange.

10. What? They are!*

11. I cannot 'borrow' anymore giant fireworks from Mexico.

12. Even if they do give the biggest explosions.

13. I cannot mention the Cuban Embargo within Cuba's earshot.

14. Because he will go on another man-hunt for me.

15. Which usually end with me tied to a stake, and Cuba holding a chainsaw near my face.

16. I cannot punch Iggy's face in celebration of Fourth of July.

17. Even if it is the way I usually celebrate it.

18. I cannot go around poking my nose into every nation's affairs.

19. Even though it is stated I have to do that according to the Monroe Doctrine.

20. What?

21. I cannot switch places with Canada.

22. No matter how easy it may be.

23. Placing a burger on someone's forehead will not cure them of their sickness.

24. No matter how much ketchup I squirt on to it.

25. I cannot make a face at Canada when he brags about his healthcare.

26. My healthcare's good!

27. The hamburger works for me...

28. I cannot drink iced tea within England's eyeshot.

29. He'll start lecturing me...

30. And... Lectures... Are.. Boring...

31. *snore*

32. Huh?! Did I fall asleep?

33. Oh well.

34. I cannot just randomly burst into people's houses.

35. Especially Iggy's.

36. Definitely Iggy's.

37. I cannot go the World Meetings on the back of a bald eagle.

38. Especially if I decide to crash through the meeting wall, as the eagle flies in.

39. Especially if I play 'Fuck yeah" as I fly in.

40. No matter how cool I look.

41. I will not answer anyone how I managed to get on the back of bald eagle.

42. It's a special secret.

43. I cannot bring a tub of bacon ice cream as refreshments.

44. All the nations that ate it spent six hours puking.

45. With exception of me, cause Americans are born with amazing digestive systems!

46. I will not eat Canada's pancake-burger.

47. Even my amazing digestive system couldn't handle that one.

48. I cannot shout "KUNG FU PANDA!" within China's earshot.

49. Because he would then demonstrate to me true Kung Fu.

50. Using me as a punching dummy.

51. I cannot call myself Superman.

52. Nor can I call myself Iron Man.

53. Nor can I call myself Captain America.

54. No matter how awesome I am to be them.

55. I cannot have anymore 'Disco Pogo Friday' celebrations.

56. Even if 10 nations attend it every week.

57. I cannot bring fireworks to World Meetings.

58. Especially if Hong Kong helps me.

59. I cannot invite Belarus to an outing in Florida.

60. Because she will attempt to stab me.

61. Several times.

62. Where'd she get those knives?

63. Also Russia.

64. If Russia hears, he will try to kill me with his pipe.

65. Commie bastard.

66. I cannot call Russia Commie Bastard.

67. Because he is not communist anymore.

68. That's what they all say...

69. I cannot attempt to start a rave during a meeting.

70. Because they will lock me up in a closet.

71. And make me rave there all alone.

72. I cannot drag people's cars around so I can ask to borrow them.

73. Because dragging cars around for an hour is freaky.

74. I cannot shut my phone down whenever England can't turn off Caps lock.

75. Because he needs help...

76. Dude... He was a fucking empire at one time.

77. I cannot pretend to be an Asian so I can hijack Hong Kong's 'Hipster Asian Sparkle Party'.

78. It never ends well.

79. I cannot pretend to be Germany so I can sneak into any German Sparkle Parties.

80. I actually got in one time!

81. I cannot ask England if he has a 'wetwanger'.

82. No matter how many times I say please.

83. I cannot claim to every nation that England's cooking is meant to kill us all.

84. Even if it is true.

85. I cannot cannot call N. Korea Communist Bitch.

86. He actually is communist this time...

87. I cannot show China Youtube.

88. There was a good reason why he banned it in China...

89. I will not play hockey with Canada.

90. I ended up in the hospital for a month...

91. ...four times...

92. I cannot brag to Canada about how I won the Stanley Cup.

93. Because he will kill me with his Manada side.

95. And that is painful.

96. I cannot hack into Prussia's blog.

97. Nor can I turn it into a shrine for Austria.

98. No matter how funny it may be to see all those fan girls claiming it was destiny.

99. All of these listed above have been listed as things I cannot do.

100. (Despite me doing these anyway)


	9. Lichtenstein

**3000 VIEWS?! You guys... *faints* I'm sorry missing so many deadlines! it's just that I've been trying join fandom I have no idea about as to challenge myself and THESE CHARACTERS ARE SO DANG HARD TO WRITE. (Sorry about that, but it really is hard) Anyway, here's Lichtenstein's! My head canon is that she likes being the innocent little girl, but she can choose to be manipulative and mischievous if she wants to. And yes, she did hate some other nations. She's capable of hate, remember that. **

**So 53-56, Czech and Slovakia stole lots of Liechtenstein's land, including numerous castles. If they weren't stolen, she would be ten times bigger than she is today. Liechtenstein's government claims they've gotten over it, but I imagine Liechtenstein wants to forget it, but sometimes it does catch up to her and make her angry. Oh, and Young Saint Men? LOVE what Wikipedia has told me, I want to read the manga and see the anime~!"**

* * *

100 things I, Lichtenstein, cannot do.

1. I cannot ask big brother if he and Austria ever hung out in a bedroom.

2. Why? I am simply asking if they ever had a sleepover together.

3. I cannot hang out with Mr. Denmark.

4. No matter how nice he is.

5. Switzerland will shoot him.

6. And I don't want him to shoot him.

7. I cannot hang out with Mr. Prussia.

8. (See 4-6)

9. I cannot mention my high GDP within the earshot of poor nations.

10. Because I will hear them plotting my demise.

11. Even though big brother Switzerland will shoot them if they step one foot on our territory.

12. I cannot tell Switzerland that America thought I was called Liechtenstein because my main crop was lichens.

13. (See 5-6)

14. I cannot join any drinking parties with the Germanic family.

15. Even if I hold my alcohol better than Austria.

16. I even managed to take some of his money to pay for our drinks!

17. Don't tell brother that.

18. I cannot tell big brother that I have been hanging out with Belarus.

19. Because it would come down to the ultimate fight.

20. Knives versus guns.

21. My only problem is that I don't know which one to root for...

22. I cannot make big brother's stamp drawings my official stamps.

23. No matter how many times I say please.

24. Singing, "Germany flies, Brazil cries," is not nice.

25. Especially if I sing it within earshot of Brazil and Germany.

26. Or worse, within earshot of Brazil, Germany, AND Prussia.

27. It would come down to a Brazilian versus German/Prussian war.

28. And will most likely end with a certain Prussian inside a garbage can with very bad injuries dealt from a Brazilian banana.

29. Changing the words to, "Netherlands flies, Spain cries," will not change anything important.

30. It would be a Dutch versus Spanish war instead.

31. I cannot ask elder nations on what sex or porn is for the sole purpose of making them uncomfortable

32. No matter how funny it may be to see their reactions.

33. I cannot go skydiving with America and Canada anymore.

34. Nor may I go bungee diving with them.

35. Nor may I go hang-gliding with them.

36. German Sparkle Parties are only permitted on Fridays.

37. So no more German Sparkle Mondays.

38. I cannot ask Mr. Denmark to take me to Disco Pogo Friday celebrations.

39. Even if I saw several other nations there.

40. I cannot go shopping with Poland.

41. Even though he does have a bit more clothing sense than big brother.

42. No offense big brother.

43. I cannot sew big brother anymore pink silk pajamas.

44. No matter how pretty he looks in them.

45. I cannot give Ms. Hungary any photos of big brother in his pink pajamas.

46. No matter how nice she may be.

47. I cannot sew Flying Mint Bunny any kitty ears.

48. Even though she loves them.

49. England doesn't like her with them...

50. I wonder why...

51. I cannot ask Japan what yaoi or yuri is.

52. What? I'm serious, what is it?

53. I cannot ask big brother to shoot Czech.

54. Nor can I ask him to Slovakia.

55. They stole almost all my land in WWII...

56. "..."

57. Well, what has been done, has been done~!

58. I cannot tell America that I am a monarchy.

59. Because he sees all monarchies as dictatorships.

60. ...even though I am not a dictatorship...

61. I cannot tell big brother that Russia called me small.

62. I don't really mind, I am small.

63. And he is the biggest nation in the world.

64. But big brother takes terrible offense to it...

65. If it came down to a fight, I'm not sure who would survive...

66. Because the winner would kill the loser...

67. Like how all fights that involve big brother end...

68. I cannot ask big brother what kind of clothing he liked to wear in the old days.

69. If I ask Mr. Austria, he will give me a drawing of big brother in VERY bright clothes.

70. ...my eyes...

71. I cannot watch Saint Young Men with Mr. Japan anymore.

72. Even if I really do like the show.

73. I cannot give any pictures of Switzerland shirtless to Mr. France.

74. Why must I put this here big brother?

75. I know better than to give him any suggesting photos.

76. I cannot cannot give any of Big Brother's Swiss Army knives to Ms. Belarus.

77. Even if she really needs them.

78. I cannot dress up as Anime Jesus for Halloween.

79. Especially if I go trick treating with Japan dressed as Anime Buddha.

80. We make an excellent pair~!

81. I cannot pretend give anyone Bambi eyes to get what I want.

82. No matter how effective they are...

83. I cannot ask Mr. England where his tattoo is.

84. I cannot be a judge in any Swiss chocolate VS Belgian chocolate contests.

85. Because if I choose one, the other will give me hell.

86. Don't tell big brother I said hell.

87. I cannot swear within big brother's earshot.

88. Even though he does it all the time...

89. I cannot face plan myself for Europe naming our telescope, "European Extremely Large Telescope."

90. They actually named it that...

91. We have fallen so far...

92. I cannot take any of Mr. Austria's chocolate carrot cakes.

93. No matter how sweet and rich they are.

94. I cannot bribe anyone with Mr. Austria's chocolate carrot cakes.

95. (See 82)

96. Germany and I cannot laugh at Europe's funny names of places.

97. Like Big Brother's 'tits stream'.

98. ...I'm suddenly very concerned about what you do without me, Big Brother...

99. I have sworn to Big Brother and myself that I would never do these things under "any" circumstances, else should I expect to be punished with strict and harsh penalties.

100. Or should I want to never have anymore cheese fondue and Chocolate Carrot cake ever.

* * *

**Big brother France is coming!**


	10. France

**JESUS CHRIST! 4000 VIEWS?! Erm, guys, really, do check out my fic, 'Just a few ways to get Embargoed'.**

**Anywho, the tenth chapter! Yay! *throws confetti* You know, I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they go by. Yeah. Here is big brother France! I took a while on his because I was busy doing several other things, like drawing, practicing anatomy, (If you have ever tried or have learned anatomy, you will understand my pain), planning for another fic that probably won't come out soon (or ever) because it is impossible to even plan it out. Enjoy!**

**EDIT- a lovely reviewer told me this one was missing some numbers so I went back and edited it. Sorry for the mess up!**

* * *

100 things I, France, cannot do.

1. I cannot grope England's ass.

2. Nor may I grope anybody's ass.

3. I cannot bribe S. Korea to take panty shots of the female nations.

4. No matter how good the footage is.

5. I cannot play Truth-or-Lie strip.*

6. Even I managed to get get Sweden to strip one time.

7. I cannot show any micro nations my porn.

8. They haven't been corrupted.

9. ...yet.

10. I cannot blackmail England to wear a dress.

11. No matter how pretty he looks~!

12. I cannot strip whenever the Olympics come around.

13. Bad idea to do so during the Winter Olympics.

14. America and I cannot plan exploration missions to fully explore England's eyebrows.

15. I cannot say, "TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!" whenever anybody asks me how big England's eyebrows are.

16. No matter how true it may be.

17. I cannot force the Axis and Allies to disco dance to 'What the Hell'.

18. No matter how amazing our dancing may be.

19. I cannot strip off my clothing during a meeting.

20. Or anywhere, for that matter.

21. S. Korea and I cannot have a race to see who can grope the most people.

22. Because both of us will end up killed.

23. I cannot propose to make Beethoven French when Germany and Austria fight over his nationality.

24. Because Austria will whip me.

25. (Not the sexy innuendo kind)

26. I cannot ask new nations to taste England's food.

27. I cannot interrupt Switzerland's 'terrible childhood sob stories'.

28. Because he would shoot me with his gun.

29. (See 26)

30. I cannot come near Liechtenstein within at least 60 feet.

31. (See 28-29)

32. Spain, Prussia, and I cannot dance to, "Bringing Sexy Back."

33. Especially if we disrupt the entire meeting to do it.

34. I cannot mention Twilight within Romania's hearing.

35. Nor may I ask him if he sparkles.

36. Because someone will get killed.

37. And it's an 80 percent chance it is either me or America.

38. Or both of us.

39. I cannot 'borrow' Japan's Tentacle Porn.

40. We all knew he was a closet pervert, no?

41. I cannot call England's cooking taste of death.

42. Even if it is.

43. I cannot mention 'that night' with England.*

44. There is a reason why his national flower is the rose, yes?

45. Prussia, Spain, and I cannot call ourselves the 'Sexy Three'.

46. Because other nations would jump up and claim that we are not.

47. And kick our gorgeous asses right out of the door.

48. I cannot give Japan any of my 2D porn.

49. At least, not when I'm within 8 feet of him.

50. Because Japanese people have high blood pressure...

51. ...and explosive nosebleeds...

52. Mon dieu...

53. I cannot call England a pussy at driving aggressively.

54. Even if he is.

55. I cannot stick up my 'please have safe sex' signs around the meeting room.

56. Under any circumstances.

57. ...unfortunately...

58. Asking Australia for a Golden Gaytime will not get me laid.

59. It will give me ice cream, however.

60. I wonder where that name came from...

61. I cannot make any jokes about China's true gender.

62. Because he would hit me with his wok.

63. And ladle.

64. And both are very hard.

65. Not to mention the wok is enormous.

66. I cannot flirt with any nations that have very strong older siblings.

67. Several nations fall in this case.

68. So I think I better watch my gorgeous ass carefully, no?

69. I cannot ask to oil wrestle with Turkey.*

70. He doesn't mind it actually; it is just when I put my hand down his pants is what bothers him.

71. But he said it was a quick way to win, no?

72. Any pictures taken by Greece cannot be used as posted in the internet.

73. Even if we look very dashing, yes?

74. I cannot attack England when he named a pig Napoleon.*

75. What? It's illegal in here in France.

76. Such disrespect, no?

77. I cannot injure anybody that says that French people stink.

78. This includes America.

79. I cannot ask anyone if they want to see my 'Eiffel Tower'.

80. Especially if I wiggle my eyebrows and wink while I'm doing it.

81. Threatening to poke my eyes with baguettes will not save me from England's cooking.

82. ...unfortunately...

83. Even if it has saved me once from having to play poker with Monaco.

84. I cannot show anybody paintings of the time England had long hair.

85. Even if he looks very cute, yes?

86. I cannot ask England if he has a 'Bitchfield'.*

87. Do you, Angleterre?

88. Mm, it describes you quite fittingly, you do know.

89. Spain, Prussia, and I cannot kidnap England to blackmail him into wearing his sexy waiter outfit.

90. Even he looks VERY sensuous, yes?

91. I cannot ask for a wine menu at McDonald's.

92. They simply do not have wine at fast food restaurants, unfortunately.

93. No wonder America's food is so terrible.

94. Showing French porn at meetings is not allowed.

95. But I have some really great films!

96. Some people just don't understand great filming...

97. I cannot give any pictures for Hungary's website.

98. Nor I am allowed to show any micro nations her website.

99. By the power vested in me, and for all my wine and cheese, I have been sworn to follow these rules forbidding me from doing these things above, else should I expect severe punishments.

100. ...you really thought I was serious, no? Now, strip for big brother France!

* * *

**5- In my demented mind, Truth and Lie strip is where one person says something and you're supposed to guess if it's a lie or not. If you're wrong, you have to strip one article of clothing.**

**43- I'm not implying FrUK here, but I'll let you guys think what that night actually was. It might be where England admits an embarrassing secret or it might actually be FrUK. It's up to you.**

**69- Oil wrestling is Turkey's national sport. It's where men strip down to naked and cover their bodies with oil. They then put on leather pants and wrestle each other like that until one submits. A common tactic is to put your hand in your opponent's pants.**

**86- There is actually a town in England named 'Bitchfield."**


	11. Netherlands

**Oh my god, this chapter is SO late. It took me a while to write this because i was working on my transformers fic and because I've been really busy lately, I'm preparing to go back to the good ol' land of fatty foods. (Translation- I going back to America after a 2 month long vacation in china. I'm surprised I mad it this far without youtube and google.) Anyways, you guys better enjoy this cause this took a hella lot of research.**

* * *

100 things I, Netherlands, cannot do.

1. I cannot challenge Denmark to a bike race.

2. Because we would end up breaking half of someone's bones.

3. And more than often it has been more than one person.

4. I cannot fight with Turkey over tulips.

5. Because it is pointless.

6. And I would win.

7. Denmark and I cannot go around destroying anymore cars with our bikes.

8. Because we would have to pay for the car's damages.

9. Especially if the car is Iceland's.

10. Because Norway will kill us both.

11. (I don't see why; the guy literally has three huge cars just for himself.)

12. I cannot give any micro nations my joints

13. Because it is unhealthy.

14. And I should stop using it myself.

15. Even though I'm just fine.

16. I cannot drive any micro nations in my police car if I'm drunk.

17. What? I have a teddy bear if they're traumatized.

18. (Which they will be after being in the car with drunk me)

19. Denmark and I cannot start a 'Sexy Spiky Haired Men' club.

20. Because he and I would be the only members due to the fact that we are the only nations with spiky hair.

21. Well, there is Thailand, but he didn't want to join.

22. Eating England's food is dangerous and most likely fatal.

23. No matter what he claims.

24. I cannot squish tomatoes when in Spain's viewing point.

25. Because he would start whining.

26. And sobbing.

27. And will hold a funeral service for the tomato in question.

28. I cannot rent out my prisons to America.

29. Even if he needs them.

30. I'm closing 8 prisons because the of the lack of crime all over my nation...

31. I cannot smack people with wooden clogs.

32. Even if they deserve it.

33. I cannot make fun of other nations for being short.

34. What? Netherlands has the tallest people.

35. I cannot tackle Japan when he says he ships Netherlands-Beligum.

36. She's my sister...

37. I don't do incest.

38. I cannot take Spain to see my windmills anymore.

39. Because he will pull out a sword from no where.

40. And start attacking them.

41. Spain, for the last time, they will NOT get you in your sleep.

42. I knew Don Quixote was trouble...

43. America, no intended references to Taylor Swift.

44. I cannot hold any more Benelux Sparkle Parties.

45. There would only be three nations partying.

46. Even though it would still be amazing.

47. Convincing Denmark to throw a Nordic Sparkle Party is a terrible idea.

48. Because Norway and Sweden will kill me for giving him the idea.

49. Having Ethnicity Sparkle Party Battles is bad idea.

50. No matter how amusing it would be.

51. But I would have to go against Prussia's German Sparkle Party and Hong Kong's Hipster Asian Sparkle Party.

52. And if the other Nordics are in it, Denmark's Nordic Sparkle Party.

53. I cannot show anybody Belgium's baby pictures.

54. Even if she looks adorable.

55. Despite still being better at business than me...

56. I cannot have a little sister battle with Switzerland.

57. Because both of our younger sisters would call us crazy and quit.

58. And Belgium would get mad at me for calling her little.

59. Advice from Japan- Don't eat any brightly colored food that America offers you.

60. Advice to myself- Bring my own food to eat at World Meetings.

61. I cannot have a scarf battle with Russia.

62. Not only is it pointless, Russia would kill me if he lost.

63. So that is where all that blood on his pipe comes from...

64. I cannot paint anybody's face orange.

65. Especially if it's on my birthday.

66. Even if I consider it a birthday present to myself.

67. I cannot ask Poland if he's sure that he's male.

68. Because he will make me watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

69. Urg... Never again...

70. I cannot say 'trade secret' every time someone asks me a question.

71. Even if Trade secret is the answer.

72. Do not fall for Indonesia's innocent 'little boy' act.

73. Because he will get you into a Indonesian prostitute outfit faster than you can say, 'Double Dutch Dock.'

74. And he will take pictures.

75. Lots of them.

76. He will show them to everybody in the world.

77. Not that I've fallen for it before, heh!

78. ...Shut up, Indonesia...

79. I cannot attack America every time he calls me Holland.

80. Damn it, when he get the fact that Holland and I are not the same?!

81. I suppose it's fortunate he didn't mistake me for Denmark again...

82. I cannot challenge Germany and/or Prussia to a beer contest.

83. Because we would all end up wasted.

84. And Belgium would get angry at me for getting wasted in the first place.

85. I cannot offer anybody French fries dipped in mayonnaise.

86. ...It's very popular in my house, okay?

87. I cannot tell Switzerland that my cheese is the best.

88. Because he would get mad.

89. And we would have a cheese battle.

90. And destroy several pieces of furniture.

91. I cannot brag about how some of the most famous painters were Dutch to Italy.

92. Because he would start crying.

93. And his elder brother would try to beat me up.

94. And fail terribly.

95. After failing terribly, he should pull out a gun and start swearing at me.

96. He should then try to shoot me, but will then realize the utter lack of bullets.

97. I cannot slap anyone when they make fun of my scar.

98. The said person may or may have not been Prussia.

99. I have vowed solemnly to not do any of these things stated above, because they have been declared as dangerous/annoying/life threatening for me and anybody else around me.

100. Yeah, and I hate the color orange.

* * *

**1-3 & 7-11: Bikes are incredibly popular in Netherlands and Denmark and they both share many characteristics when it comes down to bikes roads and stuff. (For 7-11, SCANDINAVIA AND THE WORLD!)**

**4-6: Netherlands exports the largest amount of tulips in the world, despit Turkey being the first to cultivate tulips.**

**17: All Dutch police cars have a teddy bear inside of them in case they have a traumatized child with them. **

**30: This is actually true. **

**64: Orange is the national color of Netherlands because the family that gave Netherlands's its independence was called the house of Orange.**

**79-80: I will get annoyed if you refer the Netherlands as Holland. A LOT.**

**85-86: French Fries dipped in mayo... Yeah, it's very popular.**

**87: In an international cheese tasting contest, all 20 agreed that Dutch cheese was the best.**


	12. Switzerland

**Oh god, this was hard to write. Just like every list... *shot* Anyway, I'm not very sure if I like this one. I used a lot of content from Cadaska, she's an awesome artist on deviantart who does these awesome lists about facts about a lot countries. But she mainly draws them about Central Europe and Israel. Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

100 things I, Switzerland, cannot do

1. I cannot shoot anyone that comes within fifty feet of Liechtenstein.

2. Because I would end up shooting everyone in the room.

3. And Liechtenstein doesn't like it.

4. I cannot use Austrian as an insult.

5. Even if it is an insult, according to me.

6. I cannot talk to my guns.

7. It is both unhealthy and creepy.

8. I cannot have a Chocolate brawl with Belgium.

9. Not only is it pointless, one of us would end up killing the judges.

10. I cannot have a cheese brawl with Netherlands either.

11. (See 9)

12. I cannot tackle America when he mistakes me for Swaziland.

13. I mean, I know that both of our names start with 'sw', but he's African and I'm European!

14. I cannot go around selling 'France Repellent'.

15. Even if I do make a lot money off of it.

16. I cannot threaten to 'kill people until they die'.

17. Because it makes no sense.

18. I cannot threaten to beat people up with my peace prize.

19. Chances are, I would end up losing my peace prize.

20. Shooting Prussia when he calls me Sir Cocks-a-lot is not healthy for me or my sanity.

21. Even if he had every right to be shot.

22. I cannot ride into a meeting on a cow.

23. Not only will it scare/anger other people, I will have to pay for the damages...

24. I cannot ask America to compare guns.

25. He will flex his biceps for some strange reason...

26. I cannot arrest any chickens for laying brightly colored eggs.

27. Damn chickens...

28. I cannot brag about how my St. Peter is bigger than England's Big Ben.

29. Certain nations will take it the wrong way and England will plot against me.

30. I cannot stuff chocolate down nations' throats in an attempt to increase tourism to my country.

31. Especially if I scream, "Y U NO GO TO SWITZERLAND?!"

32. Stuffing people's throats with cheese will not change anything.

33. Austria making his stupid music puns does not give me valid excuse to shoot him.

34. Especially when he says, "Here comes 'treble'."

35. ...God, I hate that one.

36. Touching my beret does not give me a valid excuse to shoot the person.

37. Even if I call it a violation of my privacy and personal space.

38. Shooting down the meeting doors is not a good way to enter the World Conference.

39. (See 23)

40. I cannot shoot anybody that has somehow managed to catch a glimpse of my pink pajamas.

41. Not only would it hurt Lichtenstein's feelings, I will have to end up paying for their medical bills.

42. If France abruptly stops paying attention in the middle of me telling him about my difficult childhood, I cannot shoot him.

43. No matter how much I wish to do so.

44. America making fun of the fact that my flag is a square is not a reason that will allow me to shoot him.

45. I cannot shoot Prussia when he screams, 'PIMP MY TRACTOR!"

46. ...I was drunk that one time, okay?

47. I cannot shoot anyone that asks if I piss on electrical fences.

48. I don't... *gun cock*

49. I cannot go on a shooting rampage.

50. I will traumatize the micro nations.

51. And the medical bills.

52. Damn medical bills.

53. I cannot shoot anyone who asks me if I get high off of muck heaps.

54. (See 48)

55. I cannot shoot anyone who dares to listen to 'Superschwiizer.'

56. Really?! Is that why everyone's been asking those questions?!

57. *gun cock*

58. I cannot force England to strip when he comes to my baths.

59. God damn it England, either you get naked or get out!

60. ...It's a rule at my place, you wouldn't understand.

61. Bastards.

62. I cannot force Slovenia to take off his underwear so I can search if it was made out special material that makes him faster skiing.

63. No, I did not do it just because he beat me that year, what are you talking about?

64. Shut up Austria...

65. And Slovenia sued me for sexual harassment later, can you believe that?!

66. I cannot shoot anyone who makes fun of my names of things.

67. Like Germany when he laughed at my ass forest...

68. Damn brat...

69. I cannot steal anybody's cherries.

70. I don't have problem with cherries, I just wanted to make liquor out of them!

71. Okay, maybe I do have a problem...

72. I cannot enter the meeting room by riding on a goat.

73. Or a llama.

74. In the case of the latter, Peru will get mad about the llama.

75. In the case of both, most of the nations will get angry about the damage.

76. I cannot smack anyone over the head with a gun.

77. No matter how much they deserve it.

78. I cannot have a 'Knives VS Guns' battle with Belarus over Lichtenstein.

79. Nobody would win and Lichtenstein doesn't like it when I get into fights with her friends.

80. Nobody would win also because the loser would kill the winner.

81. 79-80 also goes towards having a 'Pipe VS Guns' battle with Russia.

82. I cannot laugh at Germany's nazi salute.

83. Pffff... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

84. *deep breath* Stop stop stop, I can't breath!

85. I cannot ask France to spend Christmas with him instead of spending it with the Germanics.

86. I hate this family. Slovenia threw up on my Christmas tree.

87. I cannot join any other nations' 'Catholic Sparkle Parties.'

88. They never end well...

89. I cannot threaten to shoot anybody in the face in protest of having to celebrate German Sparkle Parties.

90. NO GERMAN SPARKLE MONDAYS!

91. I cannot go to England after his football team plays.

92. Domestic violence will raise by a third and I do not want to be near him when he's like that.

93. Ever.

94. I cannot call all the nations who are fighting in a war crazy people.

95. Even if they are crazy people.

96. I cannot destroy my computer when Google claims that Swiss people are annoying, crazy, and rude.

97. Okay, maybe the last might go for some un named people.

98. BUT STILL!

99. Not only am I not allowed to do any of the stated above, I cannot shoot anyone, no exceptions.

100. Shooting them with Nerf guns loaded with real bullets are not allowed either...

* * *

**14- I got this one from the ThePrussianCross, an awesome reviewer.**

**26-27- They actually arrested a chicken for this...**

**28-29- There is a clock tower in Switzerland and it is bigger than the Big Ben.**

**55- ...look at its lyrics and you'll understand.**

**58-60- Most baths in Switzerland require for you to be naked.**

**62- This actually happened one year.**

**69-71- There is a famous liquor in Switzerland made from cherries. **

**73-74- Llamas actually live in Switzerland because they were shipped from Peru.**

**91-93- This happens EVERY time, regardless whether they win or not.**


	13. India

**So a lot of people have been requesting for me to do certain nations lately, and so I've decided to put the out here so people will finally know. I only do these lists for nations whose birthdays are coming up, so you will have to wait. Sorry to dissappoint anyone of you out there, but this rule is final. o there is a rule you should know now days about updates, updates will become a lot slower because school is packing up A LOT in my current schedule. I have been trying to work on this fic as much as possible, and you have no idea how stressful it is trying to squeeze it into my schedule. Anyone, here's the much needed India! He really needs more love, the only india fics I see here are either A) fan character India, B) India being England's bitch, or C) Utterly crazy fic about India not existing until America find a spirit and stuffs it in a body. Yeah... That makes absolutely no sense. **

**EDIT: A lovely reviewer pointed out to me that Finland had the highest amount of arms. Thank you for pointing that out, and I went back and fixed it now!**

* * *

100 things I, India, cannot do

1. I cannot enter a World Meeting by riding on an elephant.

2. Riding on a herd of elephants will not change anything.

3. In fact, it only make the situation at hand worse.

4. I cannot wrestle China on the table within eye range of Hungary.

5. Because she will take pictures.

6. And call it tension between two lovers.

7. Bitch.

8. I cannot call China, 'Communist Asshole.'

9. Even if it is true.

10. America would agree.

11. I cannot call England, 'Eyebrow Bastard".

12. Again, even if it is true.

13. Sealand would agree.

14. China and I cannot hold anymore math competitions between the two of us.

15. Because the last time we did, after 7 hours, the other nations made us quit because they were tired of keeping score.

16. It was tie, 18930 points each.

17. Damn it.

18. I cannot tell any nations that my mystic eyes tell me that their math skills are terrible.

19. No matter how true it may be.

20. This is especially the case with certain nations.

21. I cannot film anymore Bollywood movies in the conference room anymore.

22. Not only would it aggravate the other nations, I would end up having to clean up my own mess.

23. Poo.

24. I cannot going around saying, "Bitches love my spice rack."

25. Even if they do.

26. I cannot stare at China creepily and go around muttering, "Only 50 more years..."

27. Ha...

28. ONLY FIFTY MORE YEARS TILL I BECOME THE MOST POPULATED NATION, AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

29. ...um, please excuse that.

30. I cannot brag to America about how I have more citizens with IQ's over 120 than his entire population.

31. Because he has some of the largest supplies of arms.

32. And you do not want to mess with that.

33. I cannot brag to America abut how I am the world's largest democracy.

34. (See 31-32)

35. I should not tell anyone that I have the highest murders in the world.

36. ...You didn't hear that.

37. I cannot attack anyone that sees the photos of the one times I accidently got rabies.

38. Damn Pakistan...

39. I cannot brag to other nations about how Indian housewives own 11% of the world's gold.

40. ...Believe me, the results will not be pretty.

41. I cannot help Tibet harpoon China.

42. Which is really is a shame, considering the stakes.

43. I cannot brag to America about how Bollywood is bigger than Hollywood.

44. It's true, and they make way better movies.

45. Every time I walk in a room, I cannot have an elaborate ceremony throwing flower petals while playing 'Chak De India' as I do so.

46. No matter how cool it makes me look.

47. Everytime China demands me to hand over Tibet's Dalai Lama, I cannot raise my middle finger to him.

48. Afterwards, bringing in my cow to the Conference room to shit on his chair is not allowed.

49. Having the cow also shit on England's chair is not allowed either.

50. I cannot threaten to stab myself with incense in protest of having to listen to Germany's lectures.

51. Even if Germany's lectures are really boring.

52. I will not play hockey with Canada.

53. It's not like I don't have the skills for it, it's just that he'll end up killing someone.

54. And more than once, more than twice, and more than a hundred times, it's been his opponent.

55. I cannot 'accidently' smack England in the face when we play cricket together.

56. (See 42)

57. I cannot tackle America when he makes fun of my accent.

58. ...some people just have no respect...

59. I cannot spray colored powder on anyone.

60. Especially if I do so on Holi.

61. Me saying that it is perfectly acceptable behavior to do so at my place will not stop anyone from attempting to kill me.

62. *sigh*

63. I cannot tell any female nations that the fold of their clothing classifies them as a prostitute.

64. What? It's perfectly acceptable behavior at my place.

65. Sadly, like before, this excuse will not stop them from punching my face.

66. Hard.

67. I cannot stick out my tongue when England reprimands me for eating with my hands.

68. It is Indian etiquette to do so, so suck it.

69. I cannot give England the middle finger when he scolds me for being late constantly.

70. Again. Typical Indian ettiquette, so deal with it.

71. (Western idiots.)

72. When offering to demonstrate my amazing pocketing skills, I must keep in mind that any money that I pocket cannot actually be kept.

73. (See 42)

74. I cannot give America disgusted looks when he eats with his left hand.

75. I cannot give Prussia disgusted looks when he brings alcohol to meetings.

76. Do I really have to explain all of this? Go learn Indian etiquette rules, for goodness sake!

77. I cannot grow bridges by manipulating the trees outside of the World Meeting building.

78. The other nations will freak out.

79. Don't ask how I made the tree roots grow so fast.

80. I cannot plant trees in the meeting room.

81. The other nations panicked when they saw I already planted an entire forest, complete with rhinos, tigers, and elephants.

82. Again, don't ask me how I made the trees grow so fast, or how I got the elephants, rhinos, or tigers.

83. It's a special secret.

84. I cannot go around singing 'Chak De India'.

85. No matter how amazing the song itself is or how amazingly I sing it.

86. They're just jealous.

87. I cannot forget to trim my eyebrows daily.

88. Damn England, stupid curse...

89. Why doesn't America or Canada have these fucking thick brows?!

90. I cannot show off my snake charming skills.

91. Not only would it scare the micronations, they will scare the snake.

92. And that will not end well.

93. I cannot sleep on a bed of nails.

94. I will freak out all the other nations and America will annoy me for weeks to teach him to do so.

95. I will not visit Pakistan on the day before my birthday.

96. It was the day we truly separated...

97. The day our deteriorating relations began...

98. *silence*

99. And one last thing, I really will follow through these rules and I will not sing at random times, because if I don't, no more curry for me during meetings.

100. "...Kuchh kariye, kuchh kariye, nas nas mer khaule, haay kuchh kariye!"

* * *

**So my headcanon is that India may view upon some Western nations as positive, however, for the majority, he views them as annoying and like children. He's normally very modest, but when it comes to nations he hates/dislikes, he has no problem bragging to them. (Also he sings 'Chak De India all the timke cause he's amazing at singing and loves the song ^ ^) I put a lot of Indian ettiquette in here, like using hands to eat and time punctuality. Here's me explaining some of the rules.**

**14: It's a common stereotype that Asians and Indians are VERY skilled at math. The Indians have given some of the greatest contributions, as one of their mathmaticians discovered pi and explained it all for people.**

**26-28: Most people say that 50 years, India will become the most populated nation in the world becuase of a higher birth rate. However, this could pose some problems as overpopulation is already a major problem.**

**30: This true. Guess US has a lot work to do, eh? *shot***

**35: Also true. **

**37: Rabies is very common in India due most of the population living with animals. **

**39: Again. True. The amount of gold Indian housewives own is larger than the gold reserves of USA, IMF, Switzerland, and Germany put together.**

**43: AGAIN. THIS IS TRUE.**

**47: Tibet's Dalai Lama had to flee to India to escape the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) in 1959 and has established an government in North India.**

**48-49: If anyone is wondering why India has a cow, the cos is considered scared in the Hindu religon, and cows often roam the streets of many cities.**

**52-54: Hockey is actually very popular in India and they have brought back gold medals in the olympics.**

**55: Due to the British Raj (period of british rule over India) cricket is a very popular sport in India.**

**59-60: During the Holi, the spring festival, it's custom to spray each other with broghtly colored powders to celebrate the coming of spring.**

**63-66: In India, the fold of your sari classifies who you are, a dignified woman or a prostitute. While this does not go for foreign clothing, India probably just does this just to get on their nerves.**

**69-70: It's considered very impolite if you arrive perfectly on time, so if you're having Indian guests over, do not be suprised when they are 15 to 30 minutes late.**

**72: Indian is a common place for thieves, so I imagine that India himself would be skilled at pocketing. (Even though he would never really pocket anyone other than people he hates)**

**74: It is consider very impolite and offensive to eat with your left hand in India since it is thought to be dirty and unsanitary. **

**75: Most families in India do not keep alcohol in their homes, however, alcohol may be served on special occasions. I think that India will find drinking alcohol whenever you feel like it strange, but on special occasions, he will not reprimand it.**

**77-79: There's a tribe in India that manipulates tree roots to create a system of living bridges. They have passed down this art for many generations.**

**81-82: There's man in India who has been planting trees since he was 16, he is now 47 and lives in his own forest that actually does have elephants, rhinos, and tigers.**

**95-98: In 1947, due to conflicts between muslims and Hindus, the muslims decided to split from the rest of India in fear of lesser representation because of the hindu majority. **

**87-88: Since India resents England a lot, I imagine he's insecure about the eyebrows, and trims them daily so he will not end up looking like England.**

**91-94: Do I really need to explain these things? These are often thought of when one says India and they are common practices in India. **

**99: Curry is a common food in India and I imagine he's very fond of it.**

**100: This is one of the beginning lyrics of Chak De India. You should've known that India wouldn' keep his promise Anyway, this translates to, 'Let's do something, let's do something, my every veim is saying, oh do something!'**


	14. South Korea

**First, I want to thank everyone that has reviewed this fic, I never thought I would get anything higher than 50 reviews, but holy cow, look where we are today! Anyway, I want you lovely people to take a vote. I want to do North Korea's list, but I'm afraid that many people won't like it because North Korea isn't official. The oc that I'm going to use is not of my own, but belongs to Lo-Wah on deviantart, I'm going to change the name because it doesn't make sense in Korean naming terms. Here, S Korea says hyung a lot, and I know Lo-wah's oc is called Im Hyung Soo, but that's literally naming a character 'Big Brother'. In Korea, you are expected to refer to family members by who they are, as for example, if you were a boy, you would call your elder brother, Hyung. Also, I didn't use da-ze here because many Korean people have said that they also have no idea what it means. So yeah. I hope you enjoy this!**

* * *

100 things I, South Korea, cannot do.

1. I cannot hold anymore Kitty-Maid cosplay contests between me and Hong Kong.

2. Especially on the meeting table.

3. I will end up hurting A) the judges, B) Hong Kong, C) Everyone in the room, or D) All of the former.

4. ...Yeah, that didn't end well.

5. I cannot tell America that the only reason that I played baseball was because of a political move by my boss.

6. I didn't even really want to play it in the first place... But I guess I like it now.

7. I cannot play video games during meetings.

8. Even if meetings are boring.

9. And one really does need a way to remain entertained.

10. I cannot replace Hong Kong's Oreos' filling with toothpaste.

11. Especially if I film his reaction.

12. I cannot say 'da-ze?" over and over for the sole purpose of annoying people.

13. I cannot grope attack Aniki.

14. Or anyone.

15. I cannot call Aniki 'Aniki'.

16. Hyung has insisted that it is evil because it is Japanese and everything Japanese is evil.

17. ...I think you need to get out more, Hyung.

18. I cannot have race with France to see who can grope the most people.

19. Chances are, France and I get kicked out.

20. On our gorgeous asses.

21. I cannot play Big Liar.

22. Even if I am amazing at it.

23. And it gives me a chance to see 'special' nations drunk.

24. ...I have photos!

25. I cannot volunteer to model for Japan's yaoi manga.

26. What? He need me so he can draw a 'special' position.

27. ...Do you catch my drift?

28. I cannot attend Hong Kong 'Hipster Asian Sparkle Parties'.

29. Even if I am a hipster Asian.

30. I cannot eat kimchi instead of paying attention to the meeting.

31. It is rude and they will force me to throw my kimchi away.

32. And it will be a shame to see good kimichi go to waste.

33. I cannot skip meetings in favor of watching Korean dramas at home.

34. Even if Korean dramas are way better than listening to a droning German.

35. ...I missed_ My Boyfriend is Type B_ for this?

36. I cannot tackle anyone who requests that I dance Gangnam Style.

37. Jesus, I liked in the beginning, but this has gone too far!

38. TOO FAR!

39. (Okay, so the only reason why I dance it nowadays is so I can annoy Aniki and Hyung...)

40. I cannot use the Meeting Table as a stage for my Korean Pop performance.

41. Even if my Korean Pop performance is way more important than Germany's boring speech.

42. I cannot tell America that I wear makeup.

43. He will call me a priss.

44. And a man girl.

45. ...he does know that it's his fault I have this crazy kind of culture, right?

46. I cannot run around singing 'Bonamana' while dancing on the Conference tables.

47. Because the other nations will get angry.

48. And make me sing and dance in the closet down the hall.

49. And it would be a shame to see fabulous dancing and singing go to waste.

50. Especially when the dancing and singing is of my own.

51. I cannot laugh about Hyung and I being the tallest out of all the Asians.

52. I will keep in note, no matter how much military training I go through or how much I practice my Taekwondo, I will never be able face Aniki's kungfu, Vietnam's oar, and Japan's katana at the same time.

53. Yeah...

54. Hyung's submachine gun may help, but not that much.

55. I cannot shout out, "Do a number!" in the middle of a Meeting.

56. Even if a bunch of nations will dance with me.

57. And Japan will film it.

58. I cannot complain to Hyung that no one in the west pays attention to me anymore because he gets all the attention with his 20 year old boss.

59. What? It's not fair!

60. (I will keep in mind that his boss will most likely hear me and will not be above shooting nukes at me...)

61. I cannot forget to lock all of my doors and windows when I leave my house.

62. Especially on Friday.

63. Because when I come back, America will be on my computer.

64. And then I will have to get five other nations to help pull him off my computer.

65. And spending 3 sconsecutive hours trying peel him off my computer is not a way I want to spend my Friday.

66. I cannot invite Spain to watch a bullfighting match with me.

67. Because most likely he will complain there is no excitment and adrenaline of watching a human fight against a bull.

68. And when he find out the bulls are drunk, he won't be very pleased.

69. And more than likely, he will drag me to his place so he can teach me what real bullfighting is.

70. By making me fight a actual bull.

71. Ugh... I still have nightmares...

72. I cannot dress up as the Terminator and stand on the Conference table, screaming, "I shall slay all the jellyfish!"

73. Damn jellyfish...

74. I cannot drink alcohol in America.

75. Because the police will catch me when I'm doing my drunken dance down the street.

76. And they will arrest me for underage alcohol consumpation.

77. Me saying that its perfectly acceptable to drink alcohol in my place will not stop them.

78. Instead, they will laugh and call me a F.O.B.

79. *not pleased*

80. I cannot forget to actually stop working.

81. Last time, I went eight hours of working without getting out.

82. The only reason I remembered to stop was that so I could play Minecraft.

83. I cannot invite anybody to a drinking session.

84. Because it will most likely end in at least five people stripped and two people will be WAYYY knocked out.

85. And more than likely, one of those five people naked will probably be me.

86. I cannot persuade Aniki that playing my game Starcraft is a viable career for me.

87. Hong Kong would most likely join me in this career.

88. I cannot jump on the table and claim that my Korean Spirit shall engulf us all.

89. Wow, a lot of these include me leaving the Meeting table alone.

90. (Probably for the best anyway...)

91. I cannot complain to Russia that he's the reason why I have these insanely cold winters.

92. His stupid Siberian winds...

93. But I will keep in mind that Russia's influence on Hyung was very real.

94. Now I know where those red stains on his pipe come from...

95. Hopefully they're not coming from bashed skull anytime soon.

96. I cannot ship myself into North Korea so I can see Hyung.

97. Even if I only get see Hyung once in every five years...

98. *silence*

99. Same routine as before, I have to abide by these rules because otherwise, Aniki will punish me and have all the other nations call me an ass for a week.

100. I'm not that much of an ass! ...*gropes*

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**5-6: This is true. South Korea's dictator established baseball in the country as a political move so that all those people rebelling against him would have somewhere else to focus their minds.**

**35: _My Boyfriend is Type B_ is korean movie. In South Korea, they belive your blood type determines your personality, for Type B, they can be creative but arrogrant. The movie talk about a girl having to deal with her boyfriend's impulsive nature.**

**42-44: Most men in South Korea actually do wear makeup and it's completely normal. The plastic surgery there is also a lot cheaper, you can get a good face lift for between $2,000 and $3,000.**

**46: Bonamana is a song by the Korean pop star Super Junior. Go listen to it. NOW.**

**61-65: South Korea has some of the fastest internet connection in the world (I think). So it would make sense that America would just jet off to Seoul when his internet is slow.**

**66-71: Bullfighting in South Korea is literally just two bulls fighting each other. Their owners actually get them drunk before the match, and if they lose, both the bull and the owner drown their sorrows in booze. SPAIN DOES NOT APPROVE.**

**72-72: South Korea has been having a problem with too much jellyfish recently and scientists are actually planning on building robots for the purpose of killing off the jellyfish. Jellyfish Terminator.**

**74-79: The legal drinking age in S Korea is younger than America's and S korea's businesses are infamous for their rowdy drinking parties. With America and South korea such close allies, S korea would most likely come over more than once for business meetings, and where's business meetings, there's drinking parties. By the way, the cops are calling him 'Fresh off the Boat' because he was talking about how it was normal in his home country. You should be able to see it, if not be, very aware of the large amount of immigrants America receives.**

** 80-82: S Korea is practically is famous for its students working extremely hard. On test days, cars and other forms of transportation stop for students and its required that they do that. I decided he must be lazy sometimes, but he can work really hard when he puts his mind to it.**

**83-85: Business drinking session. Very offical.**

**86-87: You can actually make a living in South Korea by playing their game Starcraft. It pays well too.**

**91-92: The Siberian winds from the north are the reason why South Korea has such cold winters.**

**REVIEW, MY UNDERLINGS! (Just kidding, I love you guys)**


	15. Hungary

**Oh jesus, I have missed so many deadlines. August has SOOOOOO many birthdays in there with school trying to kill me, I have no idea how I'm going to get everything done. *cries* Anyway, I really need to catch up back onto the deadlines, because otherwise, I can't update my other stories. Yeah, you would think with how fast I update this fic that I have nothing else to do besides school and this fic, but I really do have other fics that want more chappies. So I better pray to the Anime gods that they will give me the power to think up new ideas, time, and the ability to type fast if I ever want to catch back up on the deadlines. I'm putting Hungary here because I haven't gotten enough votes for North Korea's chappie.**

* * *

100 things I, Hungary, cannot do.

1. I cannot smack anyone with my frying pan without a valid reason.

2. 'Because I felt like it' does not count.

3. ...unfortunately.

4. I cannot claim that every time a male is within two feet of another male is proof of their secret undying love for each other.

5. No matter how true I believe it is.

6. I cannot borrow Japan's camera for my 'special' film.

7. He actually doesn't have a problem with it. Austria was the one who made me stop.

8. I cannot keep on buying gay porn from Czechia.

9. It's not good habit.

10. And it doesn't leave the best of impressions on people.

11. Also, they're damn expensive.

12. I cannot tell America that keep my dead king's right hand on display.

13. What? It's a holy relic!

14. ...Why are you looking at me like that?

15. I cannot put up any more video cameras around the other nations' houses.

16. Even if I have ran out of my yaoi and I need more footage.

17. (Even though I really can't get any 'especially' good footage.)

18. I cannot show any nations, besides Japan, Boku No Pico.

19. Even if it is the best thing that has happened to me.

20. Save for my frying pan.

21. *Drools*

22. I cannot hit Prussia when asks me if I could make him a sandwich.

23. Sadly, Austria does this as well.

24. Men...

25. I cannot dress any more male micronations in girly clothing.

26. Even if it's my chance to fufill my dreams of chibi yaoi.

27. I didn't say anything.

28. I cannot brag about me winning a gold medal every year in the Olympics except when I didn't compete.

29. Bragging is not good for anyone and especially me.

30. Also, nations will get angry and attempt kill me.

31. Even though I'll most likely smash their faces with my frying pan before they can get a hundred feet of me.

32. I cannot slam America's face when he claims the Hungarian Komondor looks like its fur is made out of mops.

33. He's a good dog!

34. ...And he can chew off your face.

35. But don't tell anyone that.

36. I cannot any nations that have rhinos that I think a rhino is just a fat unicorn.

37. What? It does look like one!

38. (If they ever hear this, they will make me fight against one of their rhinos.)

39. (And fighting rhinos is not something one should do on a regular basis.)

40. When showing yaoi to someone, there are several choice nations I should not show it to.

41. Nations that have A) a powerful military and/or weapons, B) a crazy boss, or C) are crazy themselves.

42. Yeah... I think I need to watch who I show my Yaoi to.

43. On the second thought, I shouldn't show it to anyone besides Japan.

44. I cannot attempt to kill America when he calls me Hermione.

45. Who the heck is that?

46. I cannot demonstrate my lessons from Atilla Prussia when he calls me Atilla the Hun.

47. *malicous grin*

48. I cannot say 'Go Google it" when people try to hit on me.

49. No matter how amusing it is to me.

50. It really is a shame.

51. I cannot smash my moniter into peices with my frying pan when Google says Hungarians are aliens.

52. What the hell...

53. I cannot attempt to wrench off Romania's teeth.

54. Because his teeth are hella sharp.

55. And he will most likely draw blood.

56. I cannot propose on creating a national holiday dedicated to Yaoi.

57. Even if Japan will agree with me.

58. And it totally deserves to be.

59. I cannot band together with Greece on the misson to kill Turkey.

60. Because making enemies in this era is not a smart idea.

61. I cannot ask Czechia to take me to Horni Police.

62. Even if I really want to see some sexy police outfits, complete with handcuffs.

63. I cannot hit people with my frying pan when they ask me if I'm hungry.

64. Misinterpreting it as abuse of my nation title is also something I am not allowed to do.

65. (63 is not applied to the Bad Touch Trio, America, and/or a drunk Austria.)

66. I cannot tell Poland that he's manlier than Germany for dressing the way he is.

67. It takes a real man to pull off a dress.

68. I am not allowed to let Greece borrow my frying pan.

69. I cannot 'accidentally' leave it in his room.

70. Hm, wonder how that got there!

71. Greece and I cannot convince America to spread Thanksgiving to Europe.

72. Even if the only reason we did was so we could dress Turkey as bird.

73. I cannot force anyone into a dress.

74. No matter how good the footage is.

75. Not to self- Do not give Japan photos of Greece and Turkey in dresses.

76. Two words. Explosive. Noseblees.

77. Yeah...

78. I cannot joke about how to America, his Big Macs are small.

79. He will take it as a challenge to create bigger Big Macs.

80. And then England will get on to me for more of America's citizens ending up with heart problems.

81. ..but it wasn't my fault in the first place...

82. I cannot skip meetings in favor of solving my Rubik cubes.

83. Even if the damn Rubik cube refuses to be solved.

84. Me taking off the stickers and making them all match does not count as solving the Rubik Cube.

85. (See 50)

86. How Milan Bictz does it, I have absloutely no idea.

87. I cannot give Italy a monster drink and unleash the full force onto Germany.

88. Especially If I film it.

89. And put it on Youtube.

90. I cannot attempt to smash Russia's pipe.

91. I went at it for nearly five hours straight and I still didn't mange to make a dent in it!

92. How is that even possible?!

93. I cannot tell anyone that I drink Bull's Blood.

94. Because no one will believe me.

95. It's the source of my power!

96. And why my hits from my frying pan are so lethal!

97. As it was specicified numerous times from previous lists, I am bound to follow these rules for as long as they remain in place, else should I expect no anymore yaoi shippings from Japan.

98. One more thing.

99. Don't overinterpret things as sexual things.

100. No matter how much I am sure that the World Meeting is just one massive thinly veiled orgy.

* * *

**Eheh. I really couldn't find any interesting facts, so here's what the few ones mean!**

**8-10: Czech Republic actually makes a lot gay porn. However, they don't seem too interested in it themselves.**

**12-14: This is true.**

**28: Again, true.**

**32-34: Look it up and you'll see what I saying. It's also called a Hungarian Guard Dog.**

**46: Seeing how the modern Hungary came from the Huns, I have a feeling that she would know him somewhat.**

**61-62: There's actually a town in Czech called that.**

**82-86: A Hungarian invented the Rubik cube and Milan Bictzholds the world record for solving the most Rubik cubes under 24 hours. He solved nearly 20,000 in 24 hours.**

**94-96: The Legend of Bull's Blood is when under the siege of the Castle of Eger by the Turks, the Hungarians were so tough to beat after they drank local red wine. The Turks tried to figure out what is that the soldiers drink behind the walls, and Hungarians said that it was Bulls's Blood, and it gives them courage.**

**Please review!**


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